Kat's Amazingly Awesome Apple Cider

Whoah-ho-hoah! It's two updates in two days! Try not to mess yourself with excitement.

And that, my friends, will be really hard to do given a. that It's Halloween week and I'm prepping all kinds of festive foods / drinks, so there might just be three or four posts in a row and b. the amazing awesomeness of this post. Yeah, no seriously it's epic.

How many times has someone promised to reveal "the Great Secret" that will bring you Wealth, Health, Power and Love? Ultimate Happiness? The key to wisdom and beauty and generally being a pimp? The answer to all of life's little questions?

Just wondering. 'Cause I'm not going be revealing any of that. But, I am going to be revealing the most amazing cider recipe ever, which, if used as directed, could have the effect of bringing you happiness, love and general pimpness.*

In keeping with my infomercial form, I'll continue. You know how most cider tastes like apple juice with pepper in it? And how it really isn't all that awesome but you drink it anyway because its Halloween and / or Thanksgiving and it's the festive thing to do? Well those days are over, kids, because, for just 3 easy payments of $19.99 (which I know you'll all be sending me asap), you'll recieve the secret to...

Kat's Amazingly Awesome Apple Cider.**

1 gallon of boring store bought apple cider
1/2 gallon of orange juice with pulp (the more pulp the better. And if you don't like pulp, then stop reading my blog because you are a nazi)
3Tbsp. Cinnamon
2 Tbsp. Ground cloves
1 Tbsp. Nutmeg
2 Cups of Bourbon (Really make sure you use a decent bourbon. No matter how awesome the base cider is you're going to ruin it if you stick Heaven Hill in it.)

Pour cider & orange juice into big pot, over medium/high heat. Bring it to a boil. I mean it. It needs to be doing some serious boiling. Ask a friend to confirm it is boiling because if it is not, you will screw everything up.

If you've gotten confirmation that you're boiling, turn heat down to low. If not, stop being so impatient, pick up a magazine and wait for it to boil.

Add cloves, nutmeg & cinnamon. Say "mmm this smells good".

Simmer for 10 or so minutes. Add bourbon. Drink.

Now, technically the recipe is over, but keep listening because you still have a couple of options. If you're anti-alcohol and / or serving this at an all ages gathering you can completely forgo the bourbon and replace it with 1/4 cup brown sugar. It will still taste fantamanastic. I promise. This is the way I make it every thanksgiving and everyone thinks it rocks face. Just be sure you don't add the sugar until it's boiling and let it boil for a few minutes after you add the sugar to make sure the sugar dissolves up.

On the other hand, if you're a freak of nature and just don't like bourbon but still want your apple cider to be an adult beverage, listen up. Kat's orginal recipe called for dark rum. This totally works too. It's not as good, but maybe it is to people who don't like bourbon, who knows.

Have fun, whatever you put in it.

*These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA.
**Some of you may have noticed that my name is not Kat. Good Job. You win. Seriously, you guessed it, this isn't my recipe. It originates from my most besterest friend in the world, Kat, and there's been very minimal tweaking by me. So if you ever see her, tell her she rocks.

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