Fancy Schmancy Balsamic Chicken Breasts

Once upon a time I saw a recipe on food network for a Balsamic Chicken appetizer. It seemed pretty awesome, but I wasn't throwing a party. I didn't want to wait until my next party to rock it out, so I decided I needed to turn it into a real dinner. Easy enough. Substitute chicken breasts for wings. I did a little more tweaking and tada, it was heaven in my mouth. Observe.

Fancy Schmancy Balsamic Chicken Breasts

1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
1/2 cup honey syrup
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup soy sauce
5 sprigs of rosemary
handful of dried garlic
3 large skin-on chicken breasts
4 tablespoons toasted sesame seeds
1/4 cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley

First, before you go to work in the morning, get a giant ziploc bag and dump in the balsamic vinegar, honey syrup, brown sugar, soy sauce, rosemary sprigs, and dried garlic. Now, let's talk about honey syrup. Honey syrup is something used by bartenders and coffee shops. It's this or this. I used this instead of honey because it's just as sweet, maybe even a little sweeter, has a yummy honey flavor, but is more liquidy and easier to work with than honey. Because it was more liquidy it mixed better with the vinegar and soy sauce and coated the chicken more easily. Annnd because its a smidge sweeter than actual honey, I was able to use less brown sugar. So, subbing honey syrup for honey was a win all the way around if you ask me. Anyway, shake the bag to mix everything up and dissolve brown sugar. Add the chicken and shake again to make sure the chicken is really covered in the marinade. Put in the refrigerator and leave it there until you get home from work... or at least 2 hours.

Later, back at the hall of justice, preheat your oven to 450 degrees. Put your chicken in a baking dish, but make sure you save your marinade. I used a stoneware brownie pan. You should rock out something similar. Bake for about 45 - 50 minutes. The skin should be a little crispy and kind of blackened in some spots.

When the chicken is close to being done, bring your marinade to a boil (in order to kill Salmonella and his Evil Flagella of Doom). Simmer it and let it thicken up a little bit. It won't get super thick since we used honey syrup, so don't leave it on there forever thinking that it's going to get molasses gooey. As you can see from the picture, it should look pretty disgusting when it's done.

After it's thickened up, take out the rosemary sprigs and brush some of the sauce / marinade on the cooked chicken. Sprinkle with the sesame seeds and the chopped parsley. Tada!

Ps. The original recipe can be found here: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/giada-de-laurentiis/balsamic-chicken-drumettes-recipe/index.html

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Takin' It Back to the Old School: And God said "Let there be Shrimp -n- Grits"

... and there was Shrimp -n- Grits. And God saw the Shrimp -n- Grits; that it was good.

Tonight I was planning on making some fancy schmancy balsamic chicken breasts, but it turns out my chicken didn't thaw. I was in a conundrum. So I fell back on the most delectable and perhaps one of the easiest of old favorites - Shrimp -n- Grits. And since there hasn't been a Takin' It Back to the Old School post in 6-8 months, I decided I should share tonight's Old School Favorite. So here we go.

Shrimp -n- Grits

4 cups water
Salt and pepper, to taste
3/4 cup quick cook grits
3 tablespoons butter
Lots and lots of shredded sharp cheddar cheese
1 pound shrimp
6 slices bacon
4 teaspoons lemon juice
2 tablespoons chopped parsley
1 cup thinly sliced scallions
Dried minced garlic

First, scrub in and perform a skinectomy and coloectomy on your shrimp.... i.e. peel it and remove the poo string.

Put some water on to boil. While that's going on fry the six slices of bacon until it's super crisp. Unless you're one of those weird people who prefers floppy bacon. If so, stop reading this and punch yourself in the ear. You may now continue. Take the bacon out of the skillet, but save the grease. Chop the bacon, scallions and parsley.

When the water boils, add grits. Whisk them around for a bit, throw in about 1 Tbsp. garlic, then turn the heat down, put a lid on your pot and let 'em simmer for about 5-8 minutes.

In the leftover bacon grease, cook the shrimp until they turn pretty pink. Now, dump in lemon juice, chopped bacon, parsley, scallions and about 1 Tbsp of the minced garlic. Saute for 5 minutes or so.

Uncover the grits and whisk in butter and cheese. When you think you've added too much cheese add some more. Then you're ready to eat. Spoon grits into a bowl. Top with the shrimp mixture and a little freshly ground pepper. Nom.

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Jesus Christ, It's Pac Man! Get in the Car!

The latest in my cake decorating adventures. Yet another nerd masterpiece for yet another Joey birthday.

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Super Schmexy Spicy Chipotle Chicken Ravioli

So, Thursday night I was having a little dinner party. Thursday morning in court I realized I had no idea what I was going to make. Luckily, it was a light conferencing day, so while I waited for the judge to take the bench I pulled out ye olde iPhone to browse Slashfood for ideas. I stumbled upon a "redneck-rig your fast food" feature that suggested cobbling a burrito from chipotle into little tortilla wads and calling it ravioli. Now, don't get me wrong. I don't mean to go all snark-vark on Slashfood because, really, I love it, but this sounded like a pretty lame idea to me. However, the concept of Mexican-y ravioli did not. Thus, I decided to make up my own.

I first decided on chicken instead of beef. I thought using beef sounded too pedestrian. Too much like normal ravioli. So, chicken it was. Base of the stuffing figured out, I set to work on scheming a sauce. I worked up some elaborate ideas in my head but I realized the perfect sauce was the easy obvious choice - enchilada sauce. The result? A fabulous smoky, spicy, chicken in wonton wrapper swimming in spicy tomato-y sauce success. And as an added bonus, it was totally fun to make.

Super Schmexy Spicy Chipotle Chicken Ravioli

1 package round wonton / pasta wrappers (these can usually be found in the ethnic or hippie food section of the grocery store)
1 pound ground chicken
1/2 cup sour cream
1 can Embasa Salsa Mexicana
1/2 package taco seasoning
Quesadilla Cheese, to taste
1 packet enchilada sauce
1 80z can tomato sauce
Chipotle pepper in adobo sauce (you can use either 1 Tbsp. of the goop in the can with the peppers if you don't want your dish to be too spicy, or you can use an actual pepper if you want more zip)

First things, first, wage war on the evil Salmonella and his Flagella of Doom, by placing the chicken and taco seasoning in a skillet. Brown it until the Fagella of Doom have been exterminated. Drain off the extra fat (there won't be much) and dump the chicken in a bowl. Add the Salsa Mexicana. Now at this point, it's time for a little lesson. Salsa Mexicana is this stuff


It is not this:

Or this:

Or even this:

This is important because if you get salsa that has a different consistency you may mess up the texture of your filling. And / or if you try to make ravioli out of a salsa dancer you may end up on death row. I assume you've got your salsa issues all sorted out now, so let's move on. Add sour cream, chipotle pepper (or goop from the can) and shredded quesadilla cheese. Stir until just blended. If the mixture looks disgusting, you've done it correctly.

Dump into your food processor and process it. You don't want to turn it all into total mush but you also don't want there to be big chunks. When you've got it at the right consistency, it's business time. Flour a cutting board and get yourself a little cup or bowl of water.



Lay one wonton wrapper on the cutting board. Spoon a dollop of the chicken mixture onto the wrapper. Dip your finger in your water bowl. Drag your wet finger around the perimeter of the wrapper. Top with another wrapper. Press together. Crimp with a fork to make sure it stays together. Set aside. Keep going until you run out of wrappers or filling.

You're done with all the hard work at this point. Breathe a sigh of relief. Then, put a pot of water on and bring it to a weak-ass boil. Take note: The weak-ass part is important. If you attempt to cook homemade ravioli at a hard rolling boil it will fall apart and a troupe of gnomes will burst out of your pantry and ridicule you. I promise. So bring your water to a weak-ass boil. While you're waiting on your water to come to a weak-ass boil, cook the enchilada sauce according to the directions on the package.

When the water comes to a weak-ass boil, drop a few ravioli in. Don't overcrowd them. They're paranoid little creatures and will totally spaz out and stick together. Put in three or four at a time. Keep an eye on them as they boil. When they float to the top they're done. Pull them out with a slotted spoon. Plate them up, top with sauce and some extra quesadilla cheese if you like. And you're done. Tada!

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